Welcom~ing 2012

As we welcome in the New Year, we reflect on the old. We reflect on all the events that have taken place in the last year that inevitably got us to where we are now. Some of us can't wait to ring in the New Year with "big things" to come. Others are content with how they are leaving 2011 and see 2012 as just "another day, another dollar". Whatever your take on this New Year may be, let it bring you love, happiness, and most of all peace. If you aren't as spiritually inclined as I am, that's ok! Let this New Year be your excuse to start anew, make amends with the past, and move forward. How can you possibly set your sight on what lies ahead if you keep looking behind?



I try to go for a run every morning. I run with no iPod, no distractions at all. It is just me and the Universe. With that said, as a cool down I walk on the most serene place I can think of, the beach, for my last mile where I really get my ~ing on. During my walk this morning I had an "AHA" moment. In my 2-3 months that I have been doing this morning routine, I have not once encountered the same footprint in the sand. From all the mass production of shoes that are purchased daily, monthly, even yearly and I have yet to see the same shoe print on the beach. Pretty cool, huh? This got me to thinking about the imprint each of us leaves on the world. Then I asked myself, 'Am I happy with the footprint I am leaving behind?', 'How could I improve my footprint?', 'Do I want this footprint to follow me into the New Year?'

As you start to look at these questions and determine how they relate to you, you may also find that these questions will get you to see your life's intentions. Your life's intentions are thoughts and ideas that represent who you are. As I've mentioned many times before, your intentions are not measured by what you do or how much you make, but rather who you are. Who you are is what lies at the very core of your soul; which, as we all should know by now, is love. Are your intentions aligned with the greater good of the world, or are your intentions dependent on external rewards and circumstances. An example of intentions aligned with the greater good would be the shoe, coincidentally, Toms. Toms produces comfortable, trendy, yet afforable shoes for men and women that with each shoe purchase, a pair is given to a shoeless child. Now that's an awesome footprint...literally!



I challenge you to check your own footprint this coming year. See if there are areas in your life that you'd like to see improve or remain static. And if you don't like your footprint, change your shoes.



Cheers to the New Year, may it be filled with abundance, light, and of course LOVE~

Dat~ing

The relationship many have with dating varies from one extreme to the other: either hate it or love it. Personally, I can't stand it. If it were up to me I'd fast forward to the "infatuation phase" of the romantic relationship where both parties are utterly in awe of the other. I loathe the idea that there are even "phases" to a romantic relationship in the first place. Like everything else in life, you cannot control the external circumstances of the phases of romantic love, you can only control how you choose to perceive it.



When someone sees that you are human and have ego-based thoughts, as all humans do, they tend to find it "unattractive". It takes a strong person to stick by someone when he/she is up and down. I am just as guilty as the person next to me in viewing someone as "unattractive" because they had one insecure moment or showed weakness. What we really need to do in challenging times is support one another. How uplifting is it when things are tough on the job front and you come home to find that your spouse/significant other tells you your mood is a turn off...? Moods change, the core of who a person really is doesn't. That person is in a funk and he/she will surely snap out of it sooner or later and become the same person you were initially attracted to; probably sooner if he/she received the support we all seek. I don't care what anyone says, we all have insecure  fear-based thoughts when it comes to romantic relationships. Even the most confident, beautiful, intelligent, witty person has insecure thoughts, they just don't always express them.

I recently started dating again, which is one of the many contributers to my lack of blog postings. Dating to me is extremely scary, (that's my ego talking). My ego builds up every date by viewing that person as someone I could potentially marry. That's not fair now is it? How dare I place that pressure on myself or the other person?? I have sat and analyzed every aspect of that person as well as myself, from what I'd say next to if I should say anything at all. As I was watching Sex and The City last night, Carrie said, "Casinos are like dates, we go hoping to hit the jackpot". Coincidence? Never, nothing ever is. That one line was all it took to inspire me to write this post. Dating is supposed to be fun, a learning experience for all. It should not be seen as a means to hit the jackpot or end up emotionally broke.



So, what I've learned in my recent dating extravaganza and life in general, is just because you would think, act, or feel a certain way does not mean the other person would reciprocate. I wore my heart on my sleeve, over exposed myself emotionally, and over analyzed everything, which caused me to lose my balance. I'm beginning to feel the shortest relationships, (romantic or platonic), are the most valuable. So quickly someone becomes part of your daily routine, you share experiences together, and then that person leaves just as fast as he/she entered. When this happens, instead of focusing your energy on why that person left, try directing your focus toward what you learned for next time. See your part in the relationship, forgive whatever needs to be, release the negativity, bless the person, and move on. (Side note to self: usually the people who hurt us are the ones who need to be blessed the most, they are fighting the same demons as we have).



Where you may see yourself as being "authentic", others may perceive it as "over the top". And if you can't be your authentic, over the top self with someone, it just wasn't right to begin with...or at least right now. You weren't ready to receive what you've been wanting/desiring. You will one day but until that day comes just know that the Universe has something better coming your way.


Transform dating to dat~ing, because your ~ing has everyth~ing under control!


Light&love~

Loneliness

Loneliness is desperation's partner in crime. They are one in the same. Typically if you are lonely, you become desperate and if you are desperate odds are it's because you were lonely. Regardless, nothing good comes from either of the two. Sometimes people travel to extremes to fill the void of loneliness which results in numerous "bad habits". These bad habits can include addictions. Addictions to such things as drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, food, etc. However, these addictions are only a temporary "fix" to a deep rooted issue.

In some cases the deep rooted issue is loneliness. I once read that people who initially come on too strong in a romantic relationship, are the ones who have trouble committing. They talk the talk but when it comes down to it, can't walk the walk. When we are lonely, we attract others who are lonely, thus continuing the vicious cycle of loneliness. It's easy to fall into the trap of someone's loneliness when what they say is just right. You've been longing to hear expressions such as, "You're beautiful", "You're amazing", "You're perfect for me". How can that be the case if you've only known eachother for a short period of time? If you are presented with expressions such as these, the first thought that should go through your mind is, 'I know'. Of course it sounds great to be showered with compliments, but if you are complimenting yourself, you shouldn't feel any more validated when someone else does it. Afterall, the biggest compliment you can receive about yourself is from yourself.



Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, "You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with". How awesome is that?! Once we develop that sense of self we all seek, then we are able to fully act from love versus loneliness. That's when great things really start happening. You will attract someone who is ready and willing to commit to you. That's not such a bad thing! I can't think of any reasons to not be with someone who is ready and willing to commit as long as you are. If you're not? That's alright too, just be aware that there is another person involved. Always respect the other person and their feelings because as we learned in last night's post, the way you treat others is the way others will treat you.



Remember, it's better to be lonely than to act out of loneliness.


Choosing love over loneliness~

You Get What You Give

Some call it karma, to others it is known as "treating people the way you want to be treated". Regardless of the technological term, the connotation remains the same. In 1998 a group called The New Radicals came out with a song called You Get What You Give. Not knowing it at the time, but in years to follow the lyrics would become principles I'd live by. Iconic figures such as Oprah Winfrey, Gabrielle Bernstein, and Marianne Williamson have the same belief in that whatever you give to the Universe, the Universe will give back to you.


If you walk around with a scowl on your face, others will walk around scowling at you. If you treat people with disrespect, you will continue to be disrespected by others. You get what you give. Even when you have a false belief that a job is beneath you, (no job is beneath you), or that the person you're providing a service for is better than you, always complete the task with a smile. Smiling brings about the love you possess within yourself, and when you spread that love to others, sure enough others will spread love to you.

Just the other day I witnessed "karma" at its finest. A woman came up to the register at my work, wanting to be checked out...obviously. I was in the middle of checking out another customer who had forgotten something, so she left the line to get it. Once I informed this woman about what was happening she began to huff and puff and impatiently tap her foot. So, I politely said, "I'll just cancel the order". I cancelled the order, got her checked out, and sent her on her not so merry way. Within 2 minutes she came back complaining I gave her the wrong change. Well, she had to wait for me to finish checking out the original woman who was before her in line, which took me longer than planned because I had to start the whole transaction from the beginning since I already cancelled it the last time. Turns out the change was correct, yet this woman ended up waiting twice as long than she would have had she just waited her turn the first time. That's what I call karma baby!!



It absolutely astonishes me when people are rude. That's one thing I don't think I'll ever understand: rudeness. It is inexcusable. Even if I'm having a "bad day", I feel my frustration, forgive it, and release it. Now, if only the rest of the world could do this, we'd be in good shape! No matter what you do, you are more than likely to encounter a rude individual. When that time comes, you must always remember to keep your cool and let your ~ing do its thing. I once heard a phenomenal quote that really resonated with me: "How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours". Even in the worst of situations, try not to lose sight of your purpose of inner peace and love because in the end the only person you can control is yourself.



It never fails in that what you give is what you will get. And so I leave you with this: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."


Love is the only way~

Saturday Flatterday: Change

Change is inevitable when it stems from external sources, which is beyond your control. What you can control is the change in yourself. When we enter unknown territory or are presented with a new situation whether it be a change of career, relationship, passing of a loved one, etc. we can become unbalanced. Change is scary and can potentially cause us to lose sight of our purpose: to love everything and everyone. In order to avoid this imbalance you need to continue your ~ing practice, (change your thoughts, meditate, affirm).

Today, I would like you to flatter yourself by stating the following affirmation: I am calm. I am balanced. I am centered.



Flatter~ing everyday~

The "Special Relationship"

We have all done it, some of us are doing it right now. What is it? making someone special of course! Marianne Williamson says "We are all special, yet none of us are special". What this means is that we are no better than those beside us. Likewise, those beside us are no better than we are either. Sure they may have more money, more "things", a hotter spouse, what have you, but as mentioned before, what we do is not who we are.


So often we place others above or below us. We compare. By comparing yourself to anyone else, you are allowing your ego complete control. We are also giving other people the option to do the same, thus creating a vicious cycle and inevitably never getting us to the place where the person we're comparing ourselves to is. When you compare, you make "special" and when you make someone else special you take away from your own specialness. Make sense?


For instance, this is usually the case in romantic relationships. One person is made an "idol" of, forcing the other person to never feel quite good enough. Common thoughts about someone who is "idolized" or made special are, 'Wow, I can't believe he/she picked me', 'He/she's never going to stay with me long enough, I'm too needy', or 'I'm so lucky he/she likes me'. These romantic relationships typically never work out, and rightfully so because why would someone want to be with just a part of you? Note: the "special relationship" can be applied to any platonic relationship as well.


When you make someone special and think these thoughts, you are not being your whole self. Bethenny Frankel says, "Two wholes are greater than the sum of their parts". If your thought patterns are anything like the ones I've mentioned then you are not whole and should not expect other people to see you as whole if you do not see yourself that way. You reek of desperation. The good news is all this can be fixed by changing your thoughts. Again, if you can change your thoughts you can change your life.


By making others special, you ultimately block yourself from acheiving the true greatness you possess.


Light&love~

Patiently Wait~ing

I have been to St. Thomas twice. It is a gorgeous island with such friendly people. Whenever my family and I would go out to eat we ended up waiting for far too long, by our standards. I heard that this is common in the islands and has been named "island time". "Island time" is essentially when the essence of time simply does not exist. Similar to the islands' belief, Oprah once said something along the lines of, "Our generation wants things yesterday". The question is: what's the rush? Granted, we know "life is short", but that does not give us the excuse to run through it with guns blazing.


As thoroughly "enlightened" individuals such as Gabby Bernstein, Marianne Williamson, and Dr. Wayne Dyer have taught us not to let life pass us by, but to savor and live in the moment. Again, "living in the moment" is not an excuse to act recklessly or illogically. Living in the moment simply means to live in love. See, breathe, act with love and the rest is soon to follow. The rest being that new job you've wanted, the husband/wife you've desired, the friends you've longed for, etc. Just as no person responds respectfully to an impatient being, the Universe does not respond to those unwilling to patiently wait either.



Everything you desire is coming your way, you just might not be ready for it. For instance, after I graduated college, I made my searching for a future husband a full time job. I wasn't ready for a husband right out of college, thus I did not receive him when I had hoped. Who knows if I'm even ready today, seeing as it's only 8 months later, but I am willing to wait...with patience.


Jack Canfield is a best selling author of Chicken Soup For the Soul. However, his transformation from a starving writer to best selling author didn't happen overnight. Jack Canfield was denied by 40+ publishers when trying to get Chicken Soup printed. Each "no" he received led him closer to the "yes" he'd been longing for. Not only did this "yes" come from an immense amount of patience, but it was the best yes he ever got. Now, Jack has published over 15+ books, including The Success Principles, (my personal favorite), in which he shares his journey and tells how you too can become successful in every area of your life.


As exhibited by Jack Canfield and thousands of others, good things really do come to those who wait. Keep yourself in a constant state of "island time", take in every experience, every moment. Patiently wait and you will be pleasantly surprised by the amount of excellence you can achieve and amount of success you will receive.


Wait~ing right here with you~

Speak Your Truth

Throughout our whole lives we are told to "stay true to who we are", "never let anyone change us", and "don't settle for less than we deserve". Those are all great ideas, but what it we don't know who we are, if someone is changing us, or what we "deserve"...then what? Then, you have to look inward for the answers. These answers are anxiously awaiting to be exposed deep within you. So relax, let go, and you'll realize you already have everything you need to speak your truth.


In order to speak your truth you must first find your truth. So how exactly do we find our truth? Obviously we are molded by the people and experiences we've had in our lives, but that doesn't determine entirely who we are, it's just a fraction of what we've learned. How we take what we've learned to fit our own needs and develop our own values is who we are. Both Oprah and Marianne Williamson say, "What you do does not determine who you are". In other words, your worth is not determined by how much you make, where you live, what your past looks like, or how many failures you've experienced. You are right here, right now, in this moment. So I ask, right now are you choosing love or fear? If the answer is love, (which we already know it should be), then you are doing exactly what you were put on this earth to do. The more you spread your own love onto the Universe, the more the Universe will spread its love onto you.


When searching for your truth, you can start with some questions such as, 'What do I stand for?', 'What are my intentions?', 'Do I honor my intentions? If not, why?', 'What is holding me back from living the life I was meant to have?', 'What is most important to me and why?' After you write down your answers, (which is extremely helpful to have  them in a physical form), you will begin to see your truth. If you are someone who uses music as an outlet to chill out from the pressures of everyday life, then your truth might be something like this: I will be a world renowned musician and share my music with the world in hopes someone may use my music to find peace the same way as I have. The most important key in finding your truth is how it will be of service to others. How do your values, morals, interests, etc. align with something that would "be of higher service to the world", as Gabby Bernstein puts it...?


During one of my meditations, I asked for advice in terms of my career. The response I got is one I will never forget. As odd as what I'm about to tell you is, I promise you it's true. My inner guide said to me, "Stick with it, speak your truth, inform the world". This response was in reference to my blog. What I heard was my voice, but it wasn't me who was speaking. Pretty weird/cool, right? It was a very surreal and out of body experience to say the least.


So, what is my truth? Good question, I am still figuring that out, but I know I am on the right track. I love to write and I love to help people. What better way to carry out my passion while being of higher service to the world than through my blog?


Ask yourself the right questions and you will receive the right answers that will lead you to your own truth. Once you find your truth, speak it and people will listen.


Love&light as always~

Saturday Flatterday: Affirmations

Your job today, and every Saturday is to flatter yourself. You can start by creating a new affirmation: I am beautiful as I am. Say that to yourself throughout the day.


If you want to take it a step further you can flatter someone else, too. Whatever you project onto other people comes back to you, (also known as karma). The more you flatter other people, the more love you will feel running through your veins, thus creating limitless opportunities for great things to happen!


Don't be shy, go ahead and flatter yourself and the ones around you.


Flatter~ing one day at a time~

Expect Miracles

A miracle by definition is "an event attributed to divine intervention". That divine intervention we have come to known as spirit, Universe, God, higher being, etc. The connotation may vary but essentially it's all the same. We pry ourselves in asking for miracles but never actually expecting them. For some, the reason may be that they haven't personally experienced a miracle or enough miracles to truly believe in them. For others, they just consider themselves "realists" and ideas such as miracles simply do not exist in their world.  I may not know everything, but one thing I do know for certain is miracles really do exist.


In many cases before a miracle occurs, two things must happen: first, you must surrender and then you must be willing to receive. You must surrender your will over to the Universe in order for "divine intervention". The Universe cannot make things happen against your will. Next, you must be willing to receive, which often means believe. Remember, you must believe you can achieve and then you shall receive.

Miracles come in all different shapes and sizes. Some may be in the form of a person, some may be a speedy health related recovery, and others may simply be an experience. Whatever the disguise, they are miracles nonetheless. The best way to describe a miracle is when something happens to you, unexplained, just when you need it the most. Even the "nonbelievers" of miracles have experienced them at least once, because subconsciously they were asking for it.



My most recent miracle happened the other day as I was off to a rough start early on. I was feeling my feelings, forgiving, and releasing, when I eventually asked for a miracle. Within 5 minutes an older gentleman I work with brought me in a holiday card, which instantly lifted my mood. The previous day that same man had brought in everyone at work a card, except for myself and one other employee. I was a bit shocked and upset, but quickly moved on. Not only did I get a miracle exactly when I needed it, but my card was the only card that also had the paw print of his dog. It doesn't get much better than that!



Before I sat down to write this entry, I had just finished watching the movie Dolphin Tale for the first time. That movie is pure inspiration and exactly what a miracle looks like. For those of you who haven't seen or heard about the movie, without giving away too much, it's about a dolphin who loses her tail and can only survive if she takes to a prosthetic one. The public is in awe of her miraculous story and Winter, (the dolphin), draws a crowd from children to adults who are without a limb or use a prosthetic of their own. Not only is this animal living proof that miracles ought to be expected, but she is an inspiration to those who struggle with such difficulties across the world.


So, the moral of the miracle here is to expect them, because more often than not they will happen. Ask, believe, and receive...miracles.


Expect~ing miracles~

Apply~ing

The hardest part with any new found hobby or overload of information is applying it to your life and the work you do on a daily basis. As research has shown, it takes only 4 days to acquire a negative habit and 30 to acquire a positive behavior. Many people say they don't have the time or patience for this sort of transformation. These people are the same ones who spend hours on social networking sites such as Facebook or Twitter. If you have time to browse the web, you most certainly have time to change your life. This doesn't mean you need to make gigantic steps toward your goals, but just a little contribution each day. Any bit of progress is better than none.


With that said, first lay out the areas of your life that you'd like to see improved. Then specifically write out how you would like to see them improved. For instance, the area may be your love life and you'd like to feel secure and confident with your partner. You then create an affirmation that states just that: I am secure and confident as I am. You say this affirmation repeatedly throughout the day or whenever you feel your ego kick in. I use these types of affirmations when I do any sort of physical activity.


Gabby Bernstein strongly suggests you apply your new thinking to a physical activity for the greatest effect. If you are not an active person, which is totally fine, then you can say this affirmation in the morning when you wake and at night before you sleep. I suggest saying it at least 3 times consecutively. Information tends to resonate with a person when repeated three times.

After you complete your list, and check it twice, (little holiday humor), then you can start to relax, literally. I once saw on Oprah that people who sit in silence for as little as 1 minute a day are said to be happier than people who don't. This "sitting" can be referred to as meditating. I personally feel that my meditation has contributed immensely to my happiness. I started with just 5 minutes, then went to 10, and now I'm up to 20 minutes a day, twice a day. Like you, I didn't think I could do it, but I did and if I can sit in utter silence for 20 minutes so can you.


I was recently asked how to forgive yourself and realize that you are not the horrible things your ego tricks you into thinking you are. Moreover, how can we apply forgiveness to specific areas. My answer is one I've learned from Gabby Bernstein which is a forgiveness meditation. You follow the same steps as explained above but add, "I forgive you and I release you" to the equation. For example, if you want to forgive yourself for thinking you are "ugly" you simply repeat, "I am beautiful as I am today" and then you can add something like, "I forgive myself for my negative thought patterns and I ask that they be released. I forgive myself and release my negative thought patterns". Again, you will want to repeat this at least 3 consecutive times. I usually complete my affirmations during my daily run and meditation. I say it in my head and out loud, when appropriate, throughout the day. The first few days are the hardest but I promise once you get the hang of it, your ~ing will be in full sw~ing.


Apply these techniques to your daily routine and it quite possibly could be the best decision of your life. Try and apply, then you will eventually find inner peace and pure happiness.


Apply~ing love every day~

See~ing

We've all heard the expression 'seeing is believing'. For some people it takes more convincing than just seeing something to get them to believe. For others, it's just the opposite, their mind has already been made up before they actually "see for themselves". This type of seeing, isn't seeing at all, but is called judging, (we'll get to that later). Anyway, as in every situation in life, this one is no different in that we are presented with two choices. We can either choose to see something for what it is, or not.



The concept of see~ing can be applied to any aspect of your life, from an abusive spouse, to a deceiving friend, to even a dead end job. As an insider it's much more difficult to see things for what they are than when you are an outsider looking in. Many times we don't see because we are blinded by our ego. Our ego convicnes us that we will be incomplete without a "better half", having some friends is better than no friends, or that we will never find a new job if we leave the one we have now. The truth is, you are the better half. Our ego is not real, nor are those thoughts.



How often do we enter a negative situation, surpassing the red flags, and then leave the same situation and things turned out worse than before? Probably doesn't happen too often and if it does it's because you are thinking it. And your thoughts are the basis for your entire life.

One of my favorite Oprah Lifeclasses was when she spoke about people showing their true colors. She said, and I quote, "When people show you who they are...believe them!" She then went on to say, "When we don't see what's in front of us, it's because we don't want to". I am absolutely head over heels in love with this quote because not only did it prove to be an 'aha moment' for me personally, but so many other people are stuck in places where you just want to shake them and open their eyes to what's really happening right in front of them!



I was always hesitant when presented with new "opportunities" whether it be a love interest, job, experience, etc. Yet as cautious as I was I still found myself in situations that I had trouble letting go of, despite my ~ing telling me it was time to move on. I was once in a romantic relationship where I had only hung out with the guy twice, but talked to him every day, possibly every other hour on the phone, and if we were not on the  phone talking we were on the phone texting. I can't help but look back now and shake my head. This guy came on extremely strong in the beginning while being extremely open. As this should have raised a red flag, it raised nothing but my interest in him. As Marianne Williamson describes, these types of people talk the talk but when it comes down to it, they can't walk the walk. We are mesmerized by the potential of what "could be" so we desperately hold on to the little bit of hope that something good can come from this.



After a series of events causing me to feel absolutely humiliated and crushed, I started my journey of self discovery, let what happened go, and moved on. (Note to self: you should always base the people you surround yourself with off how they make you feel.) Once, I finally found peace with the person, he decided to show up in my life again, and I let it happen. We tried a second time at a relationship, (though I think he thought it was a romantic relationship), only for it to result in me feeling not humiliated and crushed, but dumbfounded. There were numerous signs that I ignored where he showed me who he was and I failed to see it. In the beginning, I failed to see it because I didn't want to see it. Now that my eyes have been opened, and I have truly awakened I am at peace, with him and myself.



When you awake, you see, and when you see you believe.


Love, light, & peace to all~

Accept~ing Yourself

We enter this world as innocent, untainted, beautiful souls that are engulfed by the love within us. Our intentions are pure and carried out with the deepest form of sincerity. Then as we get older something happens, a shift. A shift in our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. Suddenly we're not as unique or wonderful as we thought we were. We are thrown to the wolves, where we are chewed up and spit out. It's especially difficult when we realize that we are the wolves.


After we tear each other apart, a miracle happens, or so we think. We are saved by a man/woman who allegedly cares for us so deeply or a friend with "connections" who can show us "the ropes" to happiness. The real ropes to happiness lie within ourselves. The only person who can truly make you happy is you. In order to do that we need to get ourselves back to the place we were as children: the place of purity, innocence, and love.


We have been programmed to, for lack of a better term, hate ourselves and the ones around us. We have to get first place, we need to make lots of money, we want to be all around successful; and if we aren't, we fail. Well that's just ridiculous. It may sound cliche but money does not buy happiness...either does first place.

I once took a course in college called Self Controlled Classroom Management. This course basically went against everything we had been taught in order to maintain a successful classroom. It taught us to not use punishment but instead consequences, to not use rewards but rather praise. And never, ever single a child out. Singling a child out in front of his/her peers causes resentment and embarassment which results in a power struggle between the student and teacher in which no one wins.


A Course In Miracles teaches similar concepts, in that we shouldn't single ourselves out or make ourselves seem "special". We are not separate from anyone, nor are we better than anyone. Once you accept this, you will come to accept yourself, just as you are which is perfect.


Marianne Williamson compares ourselves to pictures. She says it is not about the frame but the content, (the picture inside the frame). Some frames are beautiful and decadent, others are cracked and bland. Regardless, it's not about the frame, it's about what's inside. Frames can be fixed, pictures can't...unless of course you have photoshop, just kidding!


Perceive with love and the rest will follow. The Universe has your back if you have its. And accept yourself because you are amazing just the way you are!


(Thank you to the person who requested this topic. I hope you realize just how amazing YOU are.)


Cheers to accept~ing our perfectness~

Feel~ing

As human beings we are subject to feel. Whether it be emotionally, physically, or psychologically we feel. Even though what we feel is 100% real, many individuals choose not to accept it. They choose to "not feel". Not feeling may come in the form of physical avoidance, an unhealthy addiction, abuse, or even suicide. Ironically, the excuse of people who resort to this type of behavior is that they are tired of feeling this way or that. They don't want to feel the pain anymore so their way out is to bury their feelings deep inside. Let's call this "hibernating". The feelings of these people are in a permanent state of hibernation, until, that is, they choose to do something about it.


When animals hibernate they are in the dark, as is the case when you hibernate your feelings. Your feelings are in a dark place, therefore you exude dark internal feelings onto external circumstances that inevitably make them dark, (negative), when they don't have to be. So far you have done two things to block your happiness: 1. You aren't truly feeling your feelings 2. You are now coming from a dark place, and as we already know you can't see the light when you're living in the dark.

If we don't acknowledge our feelings we are simply prolonging the inevitable. The inevitable is hitting rock bottom. When you're on a downward spiral you do eventually hit the bottom, regardless of what anyone else says. Sometimes people hit the bottom and never pick themselves up. Others choose to heal from the wounds they've received in hitting the rock. In order to heal, one must feel. Marianne Williamson says we need to expose our wounds in order to heal them. The bandaids we place on our wounds by "not feeling" are a temporary fix to an underlying issue.


Just yesterday I felt my feelings and actually expressed them to the other person involved. I had received some information that I felt wasn't "right", which caused me to feel upset and confused. Though the issue may be perceived as minor, I couldn't help how I felt. I hung up the phone with the person, collected my thoughts and feelings and then called back. I said how I felt and as awkward or uncomfortable as the conversation may have been, I essentially felt better and was at peace with the situation. Problem solved, issue dropped. Never will I bring up that instance to that person again.


It is imperative that you express your feelings, even communicate them to the person or people involved. No one can fault you for saying how you feel. If you present your argument, by starting with "I feel..." then you are not attacking but rather expressing. On the other hand, starting a conversation with "You made me look/feel/act this way..." then you are issuing an attack, which will result in a defensive response, then another attack and defend, so on and so forth. Nothing is solved and no one is listening to one another at this point.


Cry, yell, jump, run, kick, do whatever it takes to feel. Because when you feel, you heal.


Wishing you inner peace~

Controll~ing

Life is a struggle, or so we've been told. You can't trust anyone, you never have enough money, everyone lets you down, and all good things come to an end. If these thoughts have ever crossed your mind then you're no different from the majority of the human race. The key word here is thoughts, because that is all they are, figments of your imagination that you have literally made up in your head. When you're experiencing these thoughts, what you're really doing is trying to control every aspect of your life. The truth is, in order to control your life you must first control your thoughts.


Turns out, if you want to control your life you have to change your thinking, unless of course you're Gandhi because that guy had it figured out.  What you think about, you bring about, (goes along with The Law of Attraction). If you think you don't ever make enough money, guess what? You won't. If you think this guy/girl isn't going to like you, he/she won't. People are going to do what they want to do and think what they want, when they want. And there's not a darn thing you can do about it.

I've had my fair share of controll~ing, which may be the reason why some people from my past never made it to my present. I can't say that I'm upset about it because everything I have done has made me the person I am today, which is hopefully someone who is helping YOU. I once had a relationship in which the other person lied pathologically from what they wore the night before to a serious drug addiction. Obviously, this didn't sit well with me, as it shouldn't with anyone. Regardless of how I felt, what I said, or did, the person continued traveling down this dark road; one road I refuse to travel with anyone. I was trying to control something, or someone, rather than myself. Needless to say our relationship dwindled because I realized I had no control over it. By controlling myself and listening to the ~ing in controll~ing, I got as far away from that situation as I could. Disclaimer: I have absolutely no resentment or negative feelings toward this person whatsoever. I will continue to wish them well and send them light and love until this person is the person I know they can be, living the awesome life they were meant to live. (I also know that entire disclaimer is grammatically incorrect).



Though, I'm sure my mom wasn't the first person to have this idea, but she was the first one to tell me that 'the only person you can control is yourself'. Since then, I have tried my best to stay true to those words and let go of trying to control anything outside of myself. It's not an easy task, but it's a task worth the challenge. It's easy to beat yourself up when things don't go your way; when you don't get the job, when a relationship you heavily invested in goes south, if you don't get the grade you think you deserve. Again, these are things you have no control over. What you can control is how you think and what you do for the next time. There will be a next time, and odds are the next time will be something better. Gabby Bernstein says, you must know the Universe has your back. If you know the Universe has your back, the Universe knows you have your own back. Having your own back, means letting go of the things you cannot control. Let go and just be. When you are be~ing, you are believ~ing...believing that the Universe has a bigger and much better plan for you, which again, is beyond your control.


Believe that you can achieve and you shall receive. How 'bout that!


Peace be with you~

Mirror~ing

Mirrors are objects that, when stood in front of, reflect back what the outside world apparently sees. What many people fail to realize is that other people in our lives act as human mirrors, reflecting back to us what we actually see in ourselves. The concept of mirroring can be confusing at first, but once applied, comes in quite handy.




I first learned of mirroring in Add More ~ing To Your Life by Gabrielle Bernstein. She suggested we apply mirroring to someone who really irritates us. In mirroring you analyze, or closely study, the mannerisms of the person who irritates you. You could even make a list of the reasons why or how. When viewing this list, be it mental or physical, you are to compare it with your own tendencies.



For instance, I recently started this process with a person who is extremely active in my life. I did everything I was supposed to in regards to releasing my negative feelings. I did not suppress any anger, and even began to forgive this person on a daily basis. Some days I wouldn't be bothered and other days, even after forgiveness, I would be in tears. After careful consideration, I decided to try mirroring, (if not taken with caution, mirroring can have a nasty aftertaste). I reviewed the things that irritated me most about this person and came to realize that the common denominator between the two of us was sarcasm and cracking jokes at the expense of others. This person's personality was so viciously sarcastic, it made me never want to use sarcasm again. I then started to look at other people in my life who I did not get along with or who bothered me in some way. Again, the theme was sarcasm. I am now extremely careful about how I use my sense of humor and try to only incorporate sarcasm in the most playful way possible.

Now, what can be complicated about mirroring is that our ego can sneak its way into the picture. Our ego can twist our "constructive criticism", so to speak, and transform it into a full blown self attack. This is a lost cause because it distracts us from the main purpose of this technique in the first place: understanding. We can get so lost in over analyzing ourselves that nothing makes sense. The only one who wins is our ego and as we already know, only love is real so we really end up fighting for nothing. There is a fine line between self awareness and attack...try not to cross it!



On other hand, you can use mirroring to see the good things in others that you see in yourself. As Gabby says, "The light you see in others is a reflection of the light you see in yourself".


Stay with your ~ing when mirror~ing because it will always guide you back to love.


To ~ingin' it~